confessions of delusional brilliance

Dosker Doll $8.00AUD

2007-06-04T20:38:00.000+10:00

Available for purchase directly from www.doskathon.blogspot.com is this hand crafted [Dosker] doll. All [Dosker] dolls are hand made with love and care by [Dosker] herself and are branded with a personal "I heart (insert name here) tattoo".

$8.00AUD for all randoms.

$5.00AUD for all Frostmourne/GR/Tamarket/LJ/CGR and RL associates.

Please note this price does not include postage and handling and the cheapest available method of postage will always be employed unless informed otherwise.

E-mail Doskathon@yahoo.com for all purchase inquiries.

Copy and fill out the below form when placing an order;

Name:

Address:

Method of payment:

(Direct Bank Deposit, Netbank and Money order only)

Personalised tattoo to include the name:

Postal Method:

(Standard, Express, Registered, Overseas)

Quantity:

Please note: Stock is subject to availabillity (current stock 4).

The picnic

2007-05-02T01:20:00.000+10:00

Introducing The Picnic

Tonight, i was chewing away on what has become a recent infatuation of mine. The Cadbury Picnic. The Cadbury Picnic is characterised by a rather repulsive exterior. To the unlearned it resembles an over sized mass of human excrement, not unlike a turd. It is this relationship between the turd and the Picnic bar that has led it's creators to adorn it in a wrapper with zero transperancy. A recent advertising scheme by the confectionary giant, Cadbury, has taken a very Apple approach to marketing this product - describing it as "deliciously ugly". Using the products flaws as a selling point, not unlike the method of sale used to plug the i-pod shuffle "because life is random".

What Apple really meant to say was "because this is ridiculously cheap to make, and we can sell it to you for a ridiculously good profit". What Cadbury mean to say is, "despite the fact that this looks similar to the meal you ate 6 hours ago, this will be the first time it's passed through a digestive system".

Undressing The Picnic

The Picnic can be undressed from one of two ends, not unlike most chocolate bars. In the event that you undress it at both, i suggest you start paying more attention to the needs of your Picnic, and be less concerned with the dope and/or other drugs you consumed prior to eating it. I would also suggest you get someone else to confirm that you are actually eating a picnic and are far removed from any kind of lavatory. Upon exposing the Picnic, squeeze the unopened end gently, so as to force the naked bar out from within the confines of it's flamboyantly coloured chamber. Do not be alarmed by the shockingly repugnant exterior, like many situations in life "it's what's inside that counts" - i.e. - Your Wallet.

Consuming the virgin

At this point in time, it would seem like someone, somewhere is laughing about how they managed to market a confectionary bar based on the concept of a human turd and successfully promote it to the extent that it's become a household name far removed from the reallity of it's repulsive disposition. As though this triumph over common sense and assumption wasn't enough, The Picnics' creator went as far as to make it one of the hardest things to eat and retain ones dignity - and by dignity i mean, prevent yourself from looking like a pig eating a crumbling mass of biological excrement.

When biting into the virgin picnic, ensure the moment your teeth make contact with the body that your lips immediately follow in an attempt to prevent crumbling Picnic debris such as caramel, wafer, chocolate and nuts from violating your attire. If possible lubricate your lips with a lip gloss and/or lipstick with adhesive properties. This will further assist with the retention of debris as you continue to consume the Picnic. Where possible, use your tongue to sever would be debris from the body of the Picnic before biting into it so as to avoid feeding your clothing in addition to your face.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

When the time has come to dispose of your Picnic and/or the plastic it called home, do, do so in a respectful and thoughtful manner. The Picnic was copulated in a factory far removed from the pastures that would best nourish it's development. It was then encased in a windowless coil for the purpose of suffocation in a bid to ensure preservation. Then it braved the shelves of a convenience store, service station, third world country aid package, and eventually your lustful grip. That a chocolate bar so undeniably, inexplicably and irrevocably heanous in appearance could delight the taste buds of many a man is not incomprehensible. You too can derive pleasure from in the face of a well emulated mass of human excrement today.

Doskers Final Thought

Some people resemble human turds too, most of the time they are, but every now and then you get to open one and confirm it. The Picnic is more complex than a human. It reels you in with it's seizure inducing attire, repulses you with it's graphically confronting and entirely disturbing complexion and then delights you with sensual taste bud like erotica leaving you with all the cupidity of a pubescent teenage boy.

I rate it 10/10

Warnings: Not advisable to people who have false teeth.

Hot just got hotter.

2007-04-26T00:12:00.000+10:00

Young girl flattened by train after failed restoration of virtual goods

2007-03-31T19:29:00.000+10:00

2007-01-24T13:52:00.000+11:00

There's never enough time.

Take the purple one

2006-12-22T20:37:00.000+11:00

Phase 1; Academia for Academics

I once wrote in an essay;

Technology can never replicate the canvas upon which the material world is painted, and it is in our most vain of efforts that we as humankind conjure radically new scapes, only to discover that they are distorted reflections of the material world. In this mirror we see something familiar, yet something foreign, something new, yet something old, eventually coming to the realisation that what we see though never seen before, is that which has always been.

I started playing an MMORPG by the name of World of Warcraft. This virtual realm is what sociotechnologists would class, though somewhat hesitantly, as a new social space. Upon delving into this world in a bid to help me discern whether or not this argument of 'new online social spaces' had any substance to it, i became enveloped in a society not too dissimilar from that of the corporeal. Forgetting any intentions i had of analysing this rich virtual culture from a spectators point of view, i decided to learn all i could by means of a far more taxing technique which i shall refer to as 'immersion'.

To sum those two paragraphs up for you all;

I found an excuse to play World of Warcraft in the name of academic persuits and have done so for a matter of months now.

Phase 2: Self induced mutilation of ones members, yours for only $399.99

Yes i have purchased a Nintendo Wii. Not unlike 99.9% of gamers with a half a brain cell in their head. Having stopped pretending i made a wise decision rather than an obvious one, i sat down to play the thing. Despite being biased when it comes to Nintendo and incredibly biased when it comes to Shigeru Miyamoto, i am not enjoying having to dislocate my arm everytime i want to dethrown a boss in Zelda: Twilight Princess. Whilst that sentence may reek of over dramatisation, i think you'll find every Wii advertisement does nothing to disuade consumers from adopting a similar point of view.

However, I am enjoying dislocating my arm for the sake of rising to 'pro' status. My Mii has all the attributes of a world no.1 tennis player and i forsee her rising above the rank of 'pro' anyday now.

Phase 3: Acupunture for wonky tables

A certain doctor who shall go unnamed has expressed his expert opinion of my current health in a most interesting fashion;

"You are like table with one leg shorter than the other, no matter what you do, table will never have balance"

In order to remedy this strange wonky legged table syndrome, several needles then found their way into my body, arousing minimal pain and a magnetic heater was placed over the midregion of my uterus. To some this is quite a normal series of events, personally i was new to lying on a table, having my fleshy mortal coil penetrated by metal instruments and watching the Doctor leave the room as he exclaimed "i'll be back in 40 minutes".

Phase 4: Tiny paper umbrellas

2 weeks ago i ate a piece of string.

After watching and reading both local television news broadcasts and newspapers, i am perplexed as to why the fact that i ingested a piece of string was not a main story. I know it's Christmas, though few people do. Most think this is the time of the year where you as a consumer can find bargains and at some point in time their brain forgets that it is also when retailers make around 30% of their yearly income, combining those two facts suggests that someone somewhere is losing out, perhaps it's the orphan/refugee/other politically incorrect generalisation that is being jipped. Third world country slave labour aside, it seems to be the time of year that no journalist nor news crew wants to throw together any piece of information worth knowing.

What is it about christmas that disrupts the normal process of our lives? Do people stop stabbing each other when father christmas appears in shop windows? Do they lay down their shiney pistols in favour of candy canes? Is cocain suddenly less appealing than bright red felt stockings swaying above the mantle piece? Does the humble trifle hold the answer to world peace?

We are a society with a media that thrives on the coverage of perplexities and distress, perhaps for one week, they allow us to entertain the illusion that Christmas is a time without pain, without suffering or persecution and opression. Perhaps it's their gift to us.

That or the corporate fat cats and their floosies are off holidaying in the bahamas thanks to all the dollars they've racked up on account of our obsessive compulsive viewing, boosting their ratings, buffeting their bank accounts and ultimately resulting in their entertaining what is a fantasy for most of the general populus, an oasis and a tiny paper umbrella.

MiniDosk is champion

2006-11-01T01:37:00.000+11:00

Le Yum

2006-05-30T18:41:00.000+10:00

CHEF ALI, here to share with you all an exotic dish straight form the tables of Australia.

This ala carte dish is a household name amongst the richest of rich and in just 5 simple steps it could be winging it's way to a kitchen near you.

Introducing 'Fairy on rye'

step 1; Take sprinkles and smatter evenly over the 'dry' surface of a flat dish, otherwise known as a 'plate'.

step 2; Remove the margerine from it's dwelling or butter which ever you prefer and evenly spread over a nice piece of bread. I reccomend white bread although less healthy then whole meal, lets be bold here! Quite frankly eating a little of the white makes me feel a tinsy bit naughty inside ! 'tee hee'(i'm so bad).

Step 3; Place the buttered piece of bread, butter side down so that the sprinkles may penetrate the surface of the margarine adorning it with their mini maggot like bodesses.

Step 4; When you feel the surface of the bread has been covered with enough sprinkles, (meaning you can scarcely see the bread for hundreds of thousands) you may commence the severing of it's being into two seperate triangular shaped pieces (That's the piece of bread, not each individual sprinkle).

Step 5; Using the digits attached to ones palms careful air lift the newly created morsels toward the oesaphagus entrance, not forgetting of course to chew and swallow.
I find it immensley hard to devour food without the help of much needed mechanical digestion!So there you go ladies and gentlemen! Fairy on rye!

Ingrediants
1. A few hundred thousand sprinkles, give or take a thousand.
2. Whole meal, or for those rebels, 'white bread'.
3. Margerine or butter (Butter may be better for you but it tastes wretched).
4. A knife capable of severing a piece of bread and a cube of marge.
5. A sure and steady hand.
6. A rolling pin to beat off all the fans you'll attract after serving up such a delightfully delightful meal!

Return to (yet to be established) glory

2006-03-01T18:35:00.000+11:00

I am unfortunately back to reclaim my blogging throne.
For the most part this blog has been uninspiring and dim witted but at least it's been consistantly so.
That is of course until now.

I read a piece of prose that suggested bloggers be honest. That they be passionate about their prose. That they be dedicated and tell it like it is.
All of which, i rarely am or do.

What i propose is to change this attitude of complacency, so that the profound respect for language that i have pretenciously implored be transformed into validity.
That procrastination no longer takes up residence in my being and that readers once more return to the crippled ruins of delusional brilliance.

The first installment of this new proposal is set to be unveiled... any day...

Now to work on that procrastination.

London trains are falling down

2005-07-08T22:58:00.000+10:00

News of the London bombings is quickly infesting our television screens.
Another media frenzy emptying the country of it's most ambitious and story mongering journos and reporters alike.
All in a bid to effectively capture the most gruesome, the most graphic, the most trying of stories and images to pry us from our little comfort zones and steal away our capacity to be complacent.

A man with half a face, a failed resucitation--Admittedly i'm a graphic whore. I love a good tragedy and i love a good twist.
But when did the news stop being about the news?

At what point in time did our beloved media stop covering the actual event and start covering "the peoples story".
Like some gruesome documentary that begs for more and more tragedy dousing it with a spark of hope and a glimmer of the miraculous.
They pull it down, they build it up, and everyone, everywhere rides this emotional roller coaster anytimethe so called news is presented.
"scenes of carnage" - One phrase used to describe the devastation caused by one of the bombs.

Over dramatisation has always walked hand in hand with our Current Affairs and Today Tonights. But it's tragedies like this that bring to light just how closely our News frollicks alongside these tasteless television dramas.

Meanwhile BB up late is on. I abhor the majority of BB but i have a keen interest in how we interact as human beings so ocassionaly on a non voyerish level it's educational.
The majority of it right now is Tim chasing after Kate.But alas, Kate is suffering the burden that is superficiality and it's constraints.
Ahh mia more.
I need to sleep, it is currently 2.18am and my BF doesn't finish work until 3.00 or 4.00pm tomorrow. I think it was 4.00...
Hmm life is interesting at the moment.
Very interesting.

IRC has been fillled with my endless borderline obsessed BB jabbering. Which has already seen the place near on dormant.
Butters humours me every 5 minutes which is nice, Tekka is dormant but humours me every 15 minutes. It's all the fuel i need to keep chugging.
But i'm afraid the continual bombardment of infomercials (namely proactive) is all the incentive i need to get up and go to bed.

Word FEST

2005-06-16T23:30:00.000+10:00

I was at a loss as to what i should write for a journal entry so i decided to request random words from chatroom members so that i could somehow incorporate them into a semi-coherent piece of prose.
The fruit of my labour ladies and gentlemen;

All words in bold had to be incorporated.

I ate a cheese pie the other day. That was until Batman and his herd of goats came along and devoured the thing.
All the juicy succulent flavours in that uncle, bacon, pinapple, fish, ham... it was a gomer pile of mammoth proportions.
GIMPS!
I like to picture lots of explosions going on inside their bellies, as though they all had some kind of violent reaction to it and it sent them keeling over mechanically like crazed robots.

The next time i get that pie, i'm going to take it into the very depths of space, nay, even to ringworld!
Where NO monster, or Godzilla can steal it away from me.
And if i have any left, i'll hide it in my CD wallet!
And if anyone comes near me i'll speak in a crazed foreign tongue and say all manner of things like; buenos dias.

It'll be cosmic man!
Just like my lip balm laser.

"hay te huacho" come and get some of this!

2005-06-12T16:28:00.001+10:00

"Where have you been? let me guess -- it's on your blogger."

Yes, and no.

I ended up going to Melbourne but i had to come home early due to lack of funds--due to my idiotic sister who as i mentioned previously ruined my primary source of well established income.

Before that, i was in Adelaide, previous to that i was in Melbourne every weekend for 5 weeks, and before that i was in Dubbo.

That's where i've been.

Candy Necklace

2005-06-08T19:01:00.000+10:00

Well it looks like i'm not going to convention.
I wallowed into my room and threw my face into a pillow, i appeared to be making out with it for some time before i realised the difference between rubbing face with it and my ex was non existant.
And now i sit, self proclaimed everything, wearing a candy necklace that to me seems like more of a candy bracelette considering i couldn't even get the damn thing half way around my head.
The circumference of my noggun is high in contension with that of my waist line.
Whilst by 'normal' standards that might be a slightly absurd compliment it's hardly flattering when you've seen first hand the oddly proportioned mass that is my body.

My candy necklace reads 'i love you' only it's 'u' in accordance with primary school law.
I was wondering how it tasted until i wished i hadn't.
I have however managed to derive a certain comfort from holding it up to my nose and sniffing it's heavenly candy like scent.
Ahhh to be young again.
As young as i was when i wanted to be where i am now, only i never wanted to be where i am now but where i wanted to want to be before i was where i am now...

I really like winding down an eventless day with a journal entry or two.
All the pain of this weeks failure and misfortune numbed by the prospect of a new tomorrow. Numbed by the sweet, sweet ever so nostalgiac scent of a self gifted candy necklace.

"i love u".

"does anyone read this?"

2005-05-16T21:04:00.000+10:00

As someone quite rudely asked in the message box to the right of this entry;

"Does anyone read this?"

Round 2

2005-05-12T13:43:00.000+10:00

Not last weekend, and not the one before it; i went to Melbourne.
And this, is that weekends story.

On the 5th of May at around about 1.00pm i embarked on a journey to Melbourne with my side kick Racha.
We were driven to Geelong and once at the station we then prepared to depart the loving arms of our escort and delve into the wonderful service widely known as public transport.
This trip turned out to be a little more joyous then my previous solo experience and a member of the train staff actually sat with us and we conversed for a short while inbetween his announcements.
Racha gloated about being Racha, (which is what she does best incidently) and i pretended to blend into the seat and be oblivious to her flirtatious behaviour.
Oh Racha, why, why, why?

The trip went surprisingly fast much to my delight and we were met at Spencer Street Station by a mutual friend who then took our luggage and left us free to miander about the city.
We went to QV for tea and finished off the night with some shopping before we collected our luggage and boarded a train to Mt. Waverly.
It was on this train that we met a rather amusing young man.
I say amusing because he was quite possibly one of the friendliest people i have ever met, and everything he said reeked of child like enthusiasm.
I'd even go as far as to say 'giddy mannerisms'.
Steve, (because that was his name) entertained us with tales from the clubbing scene in Melbourne and Sydney, his life ambitions, countries he desires to travel to, where he was from, childhood memories, where he lived in Melbourne,why he lived there, where he wanted to live... in fact now that i think about it, it would probably be easier if i just mentioned all the things he didn't say.

At one point in time he made the mistake of mentioning a favorite dance of his aka 'the Melbourne shuffle' , which we then insisted profusely that he demonstrate.
After much protest he finally caved and we looked on in glorious delight, along with the other 30 odd people who were situated on the tram at the time. Good times.

Finally after some 40 odd minutes of Stevos antics our stop arrived (and not a moment too soon) and we lugged all our bags off onto the platform.
It was at this stage in time that we realised that we had no idea where we were going.
We pulled out a dodgy looking map and whilst we dicussed our inabillity to read it a young man on a unicycle approached and asked if we desired directions "YES PLEASE" we exclaimed quite loudly and he attempted to point out where it was that we needed to go whilst Racha quite rudely decided to call her BF and have a chat.
GREAT.
So i interrogated the young man further and asked about the Melb Uni jersey he so proudly sported. Racha then paused her phone call to ask him if she could touch his hair...
Oh Racha, why, why, why?

We strutted down the road a bit and came across a trolley which we then commandeered.
With luggage in trolley we continued on down the road until we met up with our host who had kindly strolled out to meet us.
We stopped, (with our trolley) at a local pizza place and had a feed and the absurd idea that we head into the city for an all nighter was waged.
It was around about 10.30pm by this stage and it was decided that the city would be our fate.

Long story shorter;
>Racha had her wallet stolen at Crown. Oh Racha, why, why , why?
>Some rude young men threw a tray of condiments at us after a harsh rejection from our forward kiwi host.
>We got a ride in a police car.
>We discovered that eating out at 3.00am is amusingly dear. In fact we ended up ordering stuff off the menu just so we could laugh at the mammoth price tags they attracted.
"Lime Fanta, 600ml?" - "$6.00"
rofl indeed.

Fast forward...

By 7.00am we were tired and regretting our trip into the city very much. Rachas face, surprisingly wasn't weary despite the loss of her wallet and we managed to find some joy in seeing who could stand on one leg whilst our train hurled down the tracks toward home.
Sporting broken heels, blisters and weary smiles we walzed down the main street of Mt Waverly and bed was indeed a welcome sight.

That was day 1.5 of Melbournia.
4.5 days followed and i'm not even going to bother touching on the events that ensued.
I will say i'm going back in 2 days and i can't wait.

Life as i know it - ENTRY NO#1

2005-05-03T18:11:00.000+10:00

Recently i came to the decison that i will in fact revert back to posting about my life as it's a little less mundane then writing about other peoples.
And today i thought i'd take the time to tell my few readers a little about myself.

Random fact no#1
I attract weirdos.

This has been proven on countless ocassions and further reiterated this weekend on what i had idealistically hoped, would be a delightful trip to Melbourne.
But any person clever enough to deduce that 1+1 is indeed, not 3 knows full well that spending extensive amounts of time on public transport is almost undoubtedly going to result in the eventuation of an uncanny/disturbing event that you may or may not be directly involved with.
Unfortunately for the unsuspecting me, it was my turn to be 'directly involved'.

Enter the cab driver.
I caught a taxi to the train station (which also doubles as a bus depot) and boarded my coach.
I presented my ticket with a little hesitation as it was a concession holders ticket and i was not eligable for concession.
The transaction went off without a hitch and at no time was i even asked to provide a concession card.
Tut-tut v-line.

But it seemed my luck was about to run short, and no sooner had i seated myself upon the bus a strange and i mean 'very strange' man came and sat down beside me.
Just to paint a mental picture for you, this coach was licensed to seat 45 adult passengers and upon it currently there sat 5, myself inclusive.
The strange man who had sat beside me was clad in a tightly fitting navy knit jumper and grey pants that were ironed methodically down the front in the type of fashion you used to have to beg your mother not to emulate every morning she attacked your school uniform.
He placed a small green back pack at his feet and try as he may have could not have possibly hoped to have made his relentless staring at me inconspicuous.
It was at this point that my head suddenly ceased from resisting gravity and it plunged sideways toward the glass window in a dramatic slump that reeked of unenthusiasm.
My head hit the glass with a very loud 'thud'.
It was now that i felt as though all 5 occupants of the bus were staring at me in anticipation of how i might react next.

I stared out the window of the bus, my head still connecting with the glass as i sported all the joy and exctatic disposition of a widowed women who had just been forced to eat her unborn child.
It was wrist slitting action, and it was all happening to me at 6.50 in the AM, on a dreary Sunday morning.

However, you'll not be able to grasp the sheer horrificness of the whole ordeal without being able to fully appreciate the smell that was wafting from every orifice of this mans body.
It was chronic smoker congeiled with middle aged man funk bordering on 'i just really need a shower', and it was forcing me to cram my nose down an already tightly fitting velvet blazer.
Heck even the smell of my own arm pit would have been more pleasant.

Random Fact no#2
I am not very tactful

As we drove through little town after little town i contemplated moving to another seat. But the thought of stepping over his legs and having to surrender my rear posterior to vunerabillity was not worth the risk.
(It would have been even more of a risk if he was Japanese, Kancho anyone?)
In any case, i decided to wait until what they called a 'comfort stop' where passengers were given the freedom to roam about the bus and the confines of a small park for a few minutes half way into the journey.
Before reaching this stop the strange man had moved on from staring at me and instead every corner we turned he made shockingly deliberate attempts to lean in on me, his hand dragging up my leg as he resumed his previous position.
I passed the first time off as being an accident (i was in denial, clearly) but by the third time i was mortified.
This soon turned to rage as he attempted footsies.
I asked the man to move his legs immediately to which he did not reply and then i proptly climbed over them and acknowleged the situation publicly.
I moved seats and the strange man then promptly lifted himself up and sat down beside me again.
"Could you please not sit the... re"
I was cut off as he ignored me and proceeded to sit down in the seat beside me anyway.

I was exhausted. I'd had 3 hours sleep the night before having been up at 1.30am wandering aorund the house looking for my wallet only to discover it had been sitting on the dresser in my room the entire time.
The smell, the stupidity of it all, and lack of sleep was all too overwhelming.
I wanted to scream "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU STINKY PERVERTED, DISGUSTING DELINQUENT", but being as conservative and well mannered as i am i promptly climbed over the mans legs and went and sat down beside the toughest, largest looking man i could see.

By this stage the bus had started to fill up having collected a number of passengers along the way.
A half hour later it was bought to my attention that sitting next to the largest man on the bus was not one of the brightest ideas as i was now causing him a great deal of discomfort requiring him to only occupy one seat rather than 1.5.
I was now confronted with the amusing thought that perhaps he was cursing just as i had been when the seat beside me had been filled.
I allowed myself a brief moment of satisfaction before i noticed the bus slowing to halt.
"THE COMFORT STOP" I thought excitedly.
I looked down the isle and noticed the strange man staring back at me "had he been staring at me the entire time?" - I decided the answer to that question was better left unknown.

I waited for the strange man to leave the bus before exiting, but it wasn't looking good so i took my chances and scurried off ahead of him.
He 'coincidently' exited behind me and 'coincidently' walked single file all the way over to the ladies toilets (which were nowhere in the vacinity of the mens might i add).

I took great comfort in the fact that there were two other ladies from my bus in the lavatory at the time, unfortunately they were quite elderly and seemed to be taking nearly 3 times as long as i did to go about their business.
I decided as a precautionary measure to wait until they left the bathroom and they were both surprised to see me standing there twiddling my thumbs when they came out.
I decided rather than look stupid that i might actually say something instead.
"Excuse me, do you ladies mind if i walk back to the bus with you?", "There's this man who's been disturbing me, that's all" i said in justification.
One of the ladies, (the elder of two i suspect), immediately pipped up with something that would have sent me into fits of laughter had the situation not been so 'real'.

"Was he touching you!"

"In a fashion" - i replied with a slight grimace on my face as i reflected back on the recent events.

"ooooo he's a strange man, there's a spare seat across from us" she replied.
"You can sit there".

- "Oh no, no it's alright" i said, i've seated myself beside someone else now, i should be fine.

We exited the toilet, and i admired the filthy looks the two elderly women gave the strange man on our way out. They went from sporting th emost friendly, loving, 'hey i'm a grandmother' faces to scouring 'i eat babies' glares.
Strange man followed us back to the bus and i immediately went and seated myself back beside the large man so as not to give him an inferiority complex.
For the remainder of the trip said 'strange man' proceeded to stare down the isle at me and i leant back in my seat rolling my eyes everytime it was bought to my attention.

"God i attract freaks"

I thought to myself as i sat in quiet contemplation of what the rest of trip the had in store for me.

Infiltrating Emo

2005-04-29T20:47:00.000+10:00

Tonight i shall be touching on the hottness that is Emo.
And i don't mean 'Emo' as in the way aspiring Emo's mean it, i mean Emo as in the way normal people mean it.

As a great Emo enthusiast once said
"Emo is here, Emo is there, Emo is everywhere" ::cry::

1. Emo
Genre of softcore punk music that integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17 year olds who dont smile, high pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar rifts with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarfs (even in the summer), ripped chucks with favorite bands signature, black square rimmed glasses, and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5 ths of the face at an angle.

Exhibit a.
Authentic Emo

With the Emo evolution there also came, wannabe Emo's. People who's fate would forever be, that of an Emo trapped inside a normal persons body.

Exhibit b.
Wannabe Emo

Emo is becoming such an enticingly popular culture that people/animals from all walks of life now feel the need to emulate the sexy seductivity that is hating yourself all the day long whilst restricting your genitalias playground to a tenth of the required size.

Exhibit c.
Emo Spreads

So now that you can identify an Emo by appearance you now need to establish how it is they communicate. Generally dropping the words ::cry:: ::pain:: and :::sorrow:: will be enough to keep them intoxicated with memory lanes woe-woe archive - but hard core Emo's might expect a conversation.
If you get stuck for words resorting to angsty song lyrics will always get you out of the deep end and back into the shallow.
"She really really hurt me" ::dead:: - some lyrics might require modification.
If all else fails, just break down into an all mighty frown and stare at the ground with intensified hatred.

Exhibit d.
Talk the talk

Sometimes people will try to convince you that Emo is not a word and therefor does not exist. These people are losers and are devoid of intelligence therefor making them supremely uncool. Look them up and down and kind of sniff the air in disgust as you look away from them. Alternatively you can pretend they're invisible and any attempts they make to try and communicate with you respond with "there's no room in my dictionary for you anymore".

Exhibit e.
Dispelling the Rumours
EMO - Emu spelled incorrectly."That emo sure is fast!"

Some people will try and attempt l33t Emo status. Unfortunately they fail to realise that Emo is l33t and trying to enhance it's l33tness anymore will result in the depletion of it's l33tness altogether.
Exhibit F.
How not to be EMO

Sometimes Emo's angst a little too much and they fall off the wall. Hence the reason why they need to keep recruiting.

Exhibit G.

One less Emo sitting on the wall

10 ways to ensure you stay Emofied

1. Ensure your hair covers 50% or more of your face.

2.Be an active camera whore, sporting pouty moody poses that are only shown at super high contrast.

3.Stop eating meat, or alternatively become a closet meat eater and keep up the vegeterian appearance.

4. From now on jeans are the only thing you wear. DO wear them 10 sizes too small, DON'T be concerned that the grimace on your face is giving away how much your genitals are suffering - Remember Emo is pain.

5. Blazers with jagged edges and t-shirts 5 times too small with your favorite Emo band or Emo slogan are essential.

6. Refrain form making eye contact with people, this is highly un-emo like. You are deep, you are brooding, if you were a bath tub, no occupant could ever reach your depths. THAT is how deep you are.

7. DO pout but never CRY. Your pain is so traumatic, your agony so encompassing and consuming - to cry would be to allleviate that pain. Your pain is unalleviatable.

8. DO sing melodramatic songs with corny predictable angsty, depressing lyrics - if you can't play the guitar remove all the strings from one and carry it around declaring you have lost your muse.

9.Blonde hair is not Emo, if you have it, get rid of it. Die it Ebony or nothing else. The only other remotely accepted color is purply black.

10. Hibenate inside for no less than 50% of each day. Emo's are enemic looking, no Emo gets about sporting a tan. You are a pale lifeless, devoid of emotion mong not a swimsuit model in the winter time.

Show and Tell

2005-04-26T23:42:00.000+10:00

Tonight on my way home from Dubbo we drove through a particularly poor area of town. As we slowed to turn a corner i spotted a diper clad toddler staring out from a bare window.
The interior of the room behind him appeared empty and the garden out front unmaintained.

It took me back to where i was standing not that long ago.
My father was a drug dealer who did his own dirty work, a drug addict, an alcoholic, and percieved by all who knew him as 'a good man'.
I grew up with a very skewed perception of what exactly good and bad was as a result of this.

Steal, but only with good cause.
Hurt, but only out of vengeance.
Love, but never express it.

Fortunately, things became clearer to me as i grew older and was more influenced by my mother.
Back to the story. It reminded me of where i was not so long ago...

A dark dingy flat with a doorway situated beneath a stair case which led to the level above it.
A scarcely furnished interior. One bedroom, one lounge, small kitchen.
The neighbour our babysitter, a man of 50 odd years was a gentle soul. He gave my sister and i gifts of chocolate and other treats - one easter i recall getting a giant easter bunny clad in brightly colored tin foil.
My father took them back before Easter came, i didn't know why.
It was later made known to him and to us eventually that Kens intent was not as pure as we'd percieved it to be, and the convicted pedophile was reported missing some time after my father had discovered the many locations visited by his well travelled hands.

Once we went to see my dad in prison, and i was so naive.
While other kids would get up and tell of how they'd made paper planes from colored card board with their dad on the weekend, i would tell of how i went to visit my father at the farm.

"What animals did you see there?" the teacher would enquire.

"There were no animals" i would reply.

I thought it quite a silly question at first, until i came of age to realise that prison farms do harbour animals, just of a different kind.

EMOTION

2005-04-18T20:45:00.000+10:00

I am SAD in the FACE

HALO 2 REVIEW

2005-04-12T16:35:00.000+10:00

As much as i hate to discuss the planetary debarcle that is Halo 2, is has to be said. After cautiously borrowing it from a friend so i could guage it's worth, i quickly realised it was soon to join a list of games that had me draped in severe melancholy throughout 04.
It has now joined the ranks of crystal chronicles, wind waker, devil may cry 2 and numerous other titles as being a severe let down.
There are many things about Halo 2 which, if given thought just don't seem to add up. Namely, the rectification of the pistol.
Apparently it was deemed too powerful, and as you probably realised if you sucked using it you didn't have much chance up against anyone who could, despite the plethora of other weapons you had to choose from. So they weakened it, to what feels like 100 times less powerful, and in Halo 2 unless your weilding 3 of them simultaneously (which i realise is impossible), it's not a combination you'd opt for. Secondly, the rocket launcher was enhanced and made heat seeking.

Now any logical minded person, and even the thickest i suspect, would have some vague comprehension as to the magnitude of a rocket launchers power.
And anyone who's ever been blown sky high by a fellow gamer weilding a rocket launcher can testify to the validity of that statement. Decrease the pistols power and accuracy and enhance the rocket launcher, makes sense right... well no it doesn't actually.
Another thing that grated was the introduction of an energy sword with the capacity to deal out 'one hit kills'. And whilst not being your average everyday sword it also has an incredible amount of reach on it.

Fair enough you have to be in range to slaughter, but there's no arguement that it's power in close combat in unrivaled.

The ghosts have been turned into little more than bumbling scooters, no longer able to glide up and over things. In fact, when it turns over you half expect to see the pilots feet hanging out the bottom peddling it Fred Flinstone style. Also anyone who's tried playing multiplayer with 3 or more people on a 60cm screen or less will notice that due to the amount of detail and crud in maps now, you have to contend with the giant rotating windmill for space.

There's nothing like walking around the house all afternoon with chinese eyes because you've been squinting like a 90 year old with no glasses all morning. I've many more gripes about this game but quite frankly it's just another one of those over hyped, under scrutinized pieces of hogwash designed to create money for someone, somewhere.
Whilst i can't scrutinize the single player too much, i should mention i did find it seizure inducing and was considering the liklihood of whether being in comer would be more entertaining.

In short the pro's don't nearly account for the con's, and smarter AI will never be enough to compensate for the lack lustre hoo-har i was treated to when i had my first, second and last encounter with Halo 2. As for FPS's on consoles, i'm not going to touch on that bought-up-too-often arguement. But i will say, Metroid Prime on GC, Perfecttt.

Things i recently found both absurd and amusing

2005-04-10T21:10:00.000+10:00

Amusing fact no.1 - Windy Opus Dei

You may or may not have ever heard of the Opus Dei, but read on and you too can appreciate the absurdity that is literally translated as 'the work of God'.
They are described as a 'secretive catholic sect', and it is estimated that there are only about 400 members of Opus Dei in the Chicago area and just 85,000 around the world spanning 80 countries.
However because their practice is so private, it's difficult to get an accurate count of Opus Dei's membership.

You may or may not find it amusing that some of their arcane rituals include; self-flagellation—performed to preserve and promote a spiritual tradition which is strange and unsettling to modern sensibilities.

Amusing fact no.2 - Charles and Camillas Wedding

I was sitting in the corner quietly minding my own business and not even slightly tempted to comment on the farce that has been the wedding of two people, somewhere, somehow, some royal.
However, the daily news soon bought to my attention the following phrase;
"The wedding of the worlds two most famous adulterers".
Way to be remembered?
If everyone had to face their past trangressions on their wedding day i'm sure marriage would be in danger of extinction.

Amusing fact no.3 - People watch this show and like it!

ange_horan: next week is ER season 4 and McLeods Daughters season 3
ange_horan: and the life and death of Peter Sellers
doskathon: ...
doskathon: ER is ok.
doskathon: But McLeods daughters is cry-cry
ange_horan: it sucks now... but i wont be buying anymore after season 3 comes out.... it went downhill after that
ange_horan: i was talking about mcleods there by the way
doskathon: Yeah i gathered that after i read 'it sucks'

Post-it-notes

2005-04-09T19:07:00.000+10:00

This week has been somewhat strange and i'm not liking a lot of things. Random facts recently brought to my attention are;
1. Telstra owns me
2. Centrelink owns me when they're done owning me
3. and i've been emotionally owned in the meantime

It's a scary place to be on all three accounts, but i think i can manage.
I have a lot of work to this week and i'm trying to seperate the things i feel obligated to do and the things that i need to do.I might work when i'm in Adelaide, i haven't decided yet but i know that i can't wait to go there and hang out with Grace and Henri.

From the heart because i have one
My mother has been somewhat psychotic lately. I'd like to be able to say through no fault of her own but these things generally take two.My sister in her insincerity seems to be a walking provokative time bomb. And no-one seems to be quite as successful at enraging our mother to the point of no return than her.
Sometimes it feels like i'm living in a mad house where the only successful means of communication is via post-it-note.
Do you ever feel like just running away?
Unfortunately for me, i've sense enough to know that that idea is as idealistic as they come and the thought of it ever coming into fruition is immediately dismissed by both cynicism and logic.My answer to everything these days seems to be house work.
Whenever an arguement errupts i grab the baby and take off. I don't want him to be exposed to the petty conflicts that ensue between his two incompetent parents.
And while passing judgement on someones abillity (or lack of) to raise a child is highly scorned upon when you've had no experience of your own, my verdict, at least to me seems justifiable.
I used to run away to Aarons house, and hide in the confines of his room. But these days i prefer to stay away from it.He's doing really well with the whole 'just friends' thing and i think he's adjusting to a new life style quite well.I've always been fascinated by his family and the way they interact with each other. His mother is run ragged picking up after her 3 children who she would clearly do anything for - not unlike most parents.
His father however puzzles me a great deal.Over the years i've had the opportunity to witness him in a number of moods and social settings and he seems to be for the most part a decent man.I do find the way he interacts with his children to be somewhat odd, and i feel desperately sad that communication let alone endearment appears as awkward as pulling teeth.
If Aaron has ever needed his father it's now and i hope that whatever rift suddenly or gradually bought their relationship to such a low is eventually overcome by realisation that the benefits of continually supporting your children on an emotional level is as rewarding as it is required.
I've seen the way he reacts to his fathers praise;
"Al, Al! Dad said i did well!"
Me: "Did he tell you that?"
"No but mum said he told her that he thought i did!"
Maybe they could start with post-it-notes?

Presently baby James is crying his eyes out. It's absolutely stinking hot outside and the indoor heating is on the highest setting in an attempt to coax a mouse out from behind it.My sisters sulking, tensions in the air, and my mother is scolding anyone and anything she can in some desperate attempt to alleviate stress.
Sometimes they should be communicating by post-it-notes too, and sometimes there just isn't enough house work to numb the irritation of living with people who don't seem to understand that no conflict is ever irreconcilable.
(Never let the sun go down upon your wrath)

4 sinks of dishes, 3 loads of washing, and everyones ironing ought to have made me too tired to care about the petty disputes ensuing all around me.
But, no.
I don't feel like going out again tonight, i don't feel like doing anything. I just want to appreciate existing, because sometimes that too feels like a chore.

I find peace in quietly contemplating the things that could be, the things that make even my fakest of smiles appear as though it were legitimate.

Stuff i did one day

2005-04-09T00:20:00.000+10:00

Today i went to Melbourne.
It was a bit of fun.
Presently i'm feeling quite lousy indeed.
So i'm choofing off to bed because i'm supposed to go and care about someones birthday tomorrow morning and i'd like to at least look sincere instead of stoned.

That man John

2005-04-05T19:01:00.000+10:00

Today, yesterday, or the day before it; a man called John died.
He was a very unhygenic man who allowed all manner of people to slobber on his fingers in the name of... in the name of something important i'm sure.
He helped tackle the mammoth beast known as Europoean communism and he wore a strange hat.
John was paraded aorund like a muppet in the latter period of his life and propped up like a christmas pudding.
Who's to say whether this life style was voluntary or whether he begged for death before the end.
Afterall the man could barely speak - and when he did, you could barely tell.
Lots of people followed John around, and it seemed like everywhere he went he was being stalked by massive congregations in search of more than he could give.
Then one day, John died. Like we all must.
And millions of people who never knew him, never spoke with him, never felt his presence, mourned him with tears of sorrow like none they'd cried before.
They mourned him in the streets, and in their homes, in secret and in open spaces.
John, the man they never knew, and never would.

Oh yeah, John was a pope too.
Whatever that is.

Exhausted

2005-04-04T20:44:00.002+10:00

3 Questions about life

2005-04-04T09:44:00.000+10:00

Music:
1. Counting Crows - Color Blind * 2. Jeff Buckley - Best of Me
* 3. Lamb - Gabriel * 4. Tracy Chapman - Fast Car
Mood:
1. Melancholic Joy
I'm going to the new Gelati store with Racha to get some watermelon sorbet today, which I'm told I'm desperately in need of as it cures all manner of ailments - emotional and physical.
I feel so down today, not as down as some mind you.
Someone keenly pointed out earlier this week:
"Nam (7:17:54 PM): you're always so happy. It's kind of bothering how happy you are. Not bothering to me. Just odd. "
Kristin in Dubbo, Racha in Queensland, me in Adelaide...
Will it be the same when we come back?
What happens when I can't shake the dust off my shoes?
I've been such a fool lately.
Someone prove me wrong?

No Goodbyes

2005-04-03T20:04:00.000+10:00

Today was Rachas last day with us for a while. It was cry worthy but we managed not to talk about it for the entire day. There were no goodbyes, just see you laters.Which is just how i like it.

Soap Opera Sunday

2005-03-28T20:18:00.000+10:00

Easter indeed.
This weekend was full of momentus occassions, in a kind of tragic 'how's your father' way.
Gifts were on offer, eggs, M&M's, candy and then some.
But nothing seemed to numb the trials that had previously ensued and no amount of gorging was likely to scourge despair.
Approximately 1.5 weeks ago i broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years.
Then i was on the rebound and quite foolishly indulged in something that seemed destined not to last. And when it didn't, i wasn't surprised at all, i was actually pleased. Because i knew that i was on the verge of caring about someone other than myself.

What am i even doing anymore?

I met a guy on the weekend by the name of Gareth, he was nice, and doing engineering (there's that occupation again) but i just wasn't interested.
In fact i met a lot of perfectly eligable guys and i'm just not interested.
And to rule out certain retort from Americans, i'm hardly turning Lemony.

I always end up interested in the least suitable men.

Improvements or not

2005-03-23T00:06:00.000+11:00

I added a shout box and a counter yesterday night. After less than 24 hours this is what a pie chart listing all the recent vouyers nationalities has to say;

*The longest visit was more than one hour

*The shortest was less than 5 seconds

I find both quite disturbing.

Strangely Human

2005-03-22T13:08:00.000+11:00

If you're having a wonderful day today i'd like you to consider the people who aren't. One such person is Dean Carter, current resident of death row, in San Quentin Prison.

www.deadmantalking.com

I've been writing to Dean for a little while and for the most parts he seems human (surprise, surprise to those ignorant enough to believe everyone there is an animal), his musings on life in the bin are enlightening, thought provocative, analytical and seemingly emotionally detached.
To quote Dean in what i consider to be one of his most pleasurable paragraphs;

" As my jail bus pulled up to the front gate, I felt a number of things: curiosity, dread, anger, and an enormous amount of tension. I can remember two things that kept running through my head. I suspect that it was my sub-conscious babbling under the stress I felt. One thing that kept running through it was a paraphrase of that line in the Wizard of Oz, "You're a long way from home now, Toto!" And that was alternated with scolding myself for the mess I had managed to get into." - Dean Carter

Along way from home indeed. Now i'm sure i'd be spanked if site admin were aware that i was posting Deans material in my blog but i'm willing to take the risk. My hide isn't exactly quaking at the prospect of being found out and i suspect it could endure all manner of beatings.

PJ is up

2005-03-21T17:31:00.000+11:00

There she
slumbers

News to me

2005-03-21T12:03:00.002+11:00

IQ Test

2005-03-21T00:14:00.000+11:00

I am superior.
But don't take my word for it.

Check out your IQ here

Food poison

2005-03-20T17:08:00.000+11:00

Yesterday i paid 12.00 for a roll with a slug in it. TODAY at 3.00am i puked it up inbetween SMS-ing. I'm a multi-tasking machine.

Now why would i be stressed.
I am the pinnacle of cool, calm and collected.
That was until, i had to produce a film in 4 months with a completely undedicated crew of camera men and poncy actors.

The video editor bailed out with only 4 weeks to go until the film festival and i am stuck with the mammoth task that is anything and everything no-one else bothered to do - hence i had to purcase a new PC set up to cater for sound recording and VE. Make no mistake ladies and gentlemen, director is english for everyones 'gimp'.

Study is also taking it's toll, 8 hours of programming a day and you'll know why. I lock myself in my room which is now a recording studio =\ and create lines and lines of erraneous code to the suarvey melodica that is wo qui non coin.
To think you can listen to a song for hours on end and still have no idea what the words are.

So what else is happening you ask? My eBay sales are turning a profit like wild fire, i'm averaging about 600 a month, which is pretty good considering i don't spend more than 6 hours listing every week.
I'm still building the site for the RCI, curse my kindness for taking up charity work i'm too busy to complete.
I'm also doing some work for someone else that involves hours and hours of typing... hours and hours and at 80 w/p/m - that's alot of words.

I'm not having anything to do with MorB inspired X-box LANs as i sold my kit! Freedom and an excuse to match it. After paying for it i have decided that i hate my phone. I should have gone with a much cheaper Sony Ericsson z200.

If anyone from the GR still reads this aren't you glad i'm back?
In a few weeks when i get myself together i'll see to it that Final is once again banished from the joint and i am in fine fettle with all.
I made amens with CGR too, thinking somehow that i had burnt all my bridges there.
Seems as though i was wrong and after 4 years i have been granted the forgiveness that i'm not so sure i deserved.
Then there are those who'll die thinking i'm cynical, bitter, and out to kill them with my skillful tools of defamation, but you know you get that.

My relationship is going in the toilet again, i'm pretty sure. It's up it's down it's all over the place. I need to get away from my circle of friends, even if the new ones are (very) different and find some person/people who remind me i'm only 19 again.
I feel like i'm 40. Up until a few months ago i had a wedding pending. A WEDDING.
I'm not saying i want to screw up what's taken the last 5 years of my life to build, i'm just saying i want to be a teenager for at least one year of my post pubescent early adulthood.
So i'm calling a 'break'. I think the male figure in my life took it pretty well, although i'm not sure he fully comprehended what i meant but baby steps!
I'm certainly not out to hurt anyone but i need something, something else i'm not getting, otherwise why would i feel this way inclined?

I'm tired of being called 50 and male. (in chatrooms) although the visually impaired may also percieve me to be this way IRL.

Someone i know overheard me mentioning that i go to church and they were all:
"omg YOU go to CHURCH"
and of course i replied "Yes, i'm a holy christian, and sex is bad".

It always gets the athiests, the lowest form of wit and i shall die very happily together.

Oh i guess i should mention, although no-one will have any idea what i'm talking about, i've been spending the 12.00am onwards shift in an IRC channel known as Tamarket. Isn't that exciting?
No? Not really? Well it's not so bad and there's no porn bots although some of the members could quallify as such.

So on my calendar this month (which was to be the point of this entry) i have the following things;

21-23rd Mon-Wed: Work
24th Thur: Filming @ the waterfall followed by Anges birthday.
25-28th Fri-Mon: Port Fairy Camping - Kirstins birthday, Rachels farewell and Mandy and Scotts reunion. Oh yeah, and it's Easter too. I hate easter.

If it's dire, (and it never is) you know where to contact me, AIM, MSN, mIRC and Y!M.
I apologise if i spammed anyones LJ account lately. If you are in this category taking a look at Tellah's journal might make you feel better, Mwha ha ha.
Also haven't you realised how awful LJ and Blurty are yet?

I d/l Syn and Rapping_shoe's first single, listen to it once. Just once.
Also some guy got eaten by a shark today. Tough luck.

I've been contemplating escaping to Melbourne, is that stupid?
I guess we'll see. My friends up there want me to go up and see them but it will never be like old times. Too much has happened.
I've been trying to book online at a decent place but i can't help but notice alot of the booking pages have 'issues'. You'd think at 200aud i night they could fork out for a site that works >>

There's some Christian wannabe preacher over here from America infesting yet more of the world with his wishy washy fluffy Jesus banter. No wonder people hate religion.

Well that's my dysfunctional post for the year, expect the majority of my journal to be about everything and anything that isn't me.

I can fly

2005-03-18T22:52:00.000+11:00

4.00am does strange things to me.

Dead man talking

2005-02-05T14:01:00.000+11:00

The death penalty.
An eye for an eye, or an eye for several.
The day man took upon himself the duty of declaring who should die and who should not, was the day the death penalty was made legal in our sterile western societies.
Once wars were waged and many died at the hand of their foe, but we have come along way since those times. Yet now we digress.
To slaughter in the heat of battle is more humane then to allow someone 10 years to live in contemplation of their 'neat' execution.

If a thousand convicts on death row are executed, all guilty of their crimes but one, is that alone not cause enough for abolishing the system?
We have long believed that 'you cannot place a value on a human life' - yet it would appear the JUST-US system does just that.

Bloggers Rights Spat Upon

2005-01-20T13:38:00.001+11:00

Admittedly i'm somewhat of a newcomer when it comes to addressing the issue of Bloggers Rights. But it doesn't take a genius recognise that those like queen of sky have unashamedly spat upon any rights they may have been entitled to, with their inappropriate behaviour and highly contraversial antics.

http://queenofsky.journalspace.com/

Incase you're not in the know, the above journal features the stupidity of a seemingly attention seeking 30 year old women, who was fired from her place of employment because she did not posses the intelligence to forsee that posting the following pictures of herself on a public journal, at work, in uniform, would be cause enough to result in her being fired.

http://queenofsky.journalspace.com/?cmd=displaycomments&dcid=393&entryid=393

As if the shame of being fired wasn't enough to send her crawling back into a place that resembled some form of self respect, she then decided to go on and blow the whole ordeal out of proportion.
My concern is not whether this women wants to go about posting braless pictures of herself online, or entries jesting about how she's getting by on minimal wage, it's that this classless embarassment to bloggers may be damaging the chances that people who have legitimately been descriminated against, have of seeking fair compensation or even recognition.

You can take pictures of yourself baring your breast bone at home, in your car, or even down the street. But when you do it in your work place, in your work uniform, you cross a line that is not yours to cross. There are rules and regulations laid down in every work place and those rules and regulations must be adhered to. And while there may not be anything written in your work guide lines regarding 'common sense do's and dont's' some things do go without saying.
Just as it is when you enter a home that isn't your own. If the owner prefers that shoes be taken off, you abide by that.
Not because you're afraid that some sort of penalty will be inposed, but because it is the right thing to do, and any self respecting person tries to be conscientious of their hosts wishes.

Queen-of-sky should have been considerate enough to reflect upon the ramifications that her actions would have for both her and her employer. It's all about consideration, and while you may have no respect for yourself, it doesn't mean your employer wants to hop on the defamation of character wagon as well.
The Airline that was kind enough to employ this self confessed dysfunctional women, is no doubt regretting that decision whole heartedly, and i just hope they've no condemnation over firing her, because it seems to me that their actions were more than justifiable.

Flight of the Forum

2005-01-19T01:57:00.000+11:00

The amount of snot nosed little prats crowning themselves forum moderator these days is overwhelming. Their would be constructive comments are little more than derogatory reflections of low self esteem.
And in the case of many, it would seem that they are literally devoid of the abillity to say anything nice and unfortunately for unsuspecting forum members, they're devoid of the abillity to not say anything at all.

Forums are supposed to nurture an environment that encourages people to come forth with their problems, queries and so on and so forth. If users are met with this kind of hostillity, not only are the forums going to suffer but the quallity of their members will also.

There hardly seems to be a solution to this problem given that most sensible, understanding givers of constructive criticism in their respective fields often have priorities that don't include playing mediator between the likes of childish forum members. Now it may be a minor problem on a scale consisting of economic strife and world famine but it's still irritating enough to get a word or two from me.

If you belong to a forum and regularly witness frequent slandering of individuals, i reccomend;
a. leaving or b. letting offenders know how you feel about them - it may not be Freuds solution but at the end of the day it always makes me feel better.

And isn't that what really matters?

Oh yeah, i'm 19 today. I hardly feel accomplished at all.

Take it with a grain of salt

2005-01-16T22:31:00.000+11:00

I don't know about you but i find some of these childrens programs not only ghastly but seizure inducing. A 5o year old man, adorned in brightly colored clothing, stroking a partially clothed doll, on a show titled "Play School".

Play School has more wrong with it than the teletubbies ever did.

This is the quallity entertainment we ourselves endorse as being 'something our children should watch'.
No wonder we have a warped and wayward generation bringing us to our knees via crime and rebellious acts.
I'd be slightly psychotic and perhaps even a little suicidal if i'd been bought up watching these types of shows too.
Bring back Monkey Magic, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Bazil Brush, Pinky and the Brain, Animaniacs, Popeye, care bears, the Goodies, The ferals, Mr Squiggle, T-shirt and Trap Door.

Just because children are easily amused it doesn't mean we should amuse them with whatevers easiest.

We, the internet enthusiasts

2005-01-13T23:18:00.000+11:00

A word on behalf of the voluntarily afflicted - Internet Addicts

I spent the night educating myself on what exactly it is the 'experts' in mental health deem the planetary enigma that is my debacle.

While the severity of opinions varied they all seemed to point to the same conclusion. People who spend large amounts of time online, whether chatting, purchasing goods, blogging, foruming, gaming or information overloading (as they put it); are all in a bracket of people that have become part of a dangerous growing trend.

There were various opinions that stated users spending 5 hours a day online, are not necessarily addicted to the internet - but their desire to be online was fuelled by a deeper rooted complex driving them into voluntary exile from the outer world.People who find themselves unattractive or not attractive enough, craving the attentions of anonymous men and women. People acting out desires in a textual realm of no consequence, and no limits, using the internet as a means to indulge their obsession with constant social interaction in a comfortable environment that is forever at their disposal.

While some internet users may read the previous statements with faces fraught with conviction, I read with that of a prudent one. In every group of people you find extremists; in politics, in sport, in trade and in music. To consider the psychological flaws of some net extremist as a proper representation of the potential dangers the internet poses for users and enthusiasts alike, is to not only be incorrect but ignorant.

People will always find the toughest combatant themselves. The internet and the various outlets it provides to consumers should only be considered a problem when they start infringing on the users 'real life' priorities as a result of their inability to stop. A vast majority of people manage to maintain a busy social life, a job, a family and still find time for online communications and activities. In most cases the user prefers to indulge in their online life rather then their 'real life' because they find it a different kind of rewarding than the one ‘real life’ provides (if any). This is not to suggest that they have poor social skills when it comes to conversation and personal interaction on a real level; but only to say that the internet is a means for more efficient chatting.
The internet is a realm that provides millions of people to converse with from all walks of life, the luxury of holding several conversations at once without being considered rude and still being able to indulge in a little self education or artistry compliments of various software available.

The internet has long been branded as a retreat from the real world, a means of escaping the undesirable aspects of life that one may prefer to avoid confrontation with. But it's not a case of burying your head in the sand. Often it's the opposite. The internet is an outlet, a tool in which one can express themselves and be heard by all manner of people. The internet takes off where today’s education system is failing.
Clever, intelligent individuals that slip through the system for one reason or another. Sometimes mistaken as juvenile delinquents, misfits or simply wagers having no interest in education or study; now, they are finding their voice. It is no new thing to suggest that the education systems currently implemented by the majority of countries in the world are not suited to all. Just as the internet is not for everyone. Some prefer to see the internet as a detached form of socializing. In actual fact it's a closer form of communication then that of the one a conversation in person provides. Parties in the conversation feel they can express their opinions and beliefs more freely with little or no fear of discrimination or prejudice.

The WWW provides access to an endless supply of people from all walks of life, and a means of self-education which cannot be reckoned with by any other source to date. To say it is a good resource is to be adumbrative at best. The internet breeds a self educated generation, a generation that can research every aspect of an issue and form their own opinion as a result. A generation that is no longer taught what they are told - Independent voices, well informed and incredibly pragmatic.The amount of time you spend online should certainly not be considered a means of guaging addiction. If a man or women chooses to spend 10 hours a day on the internet everyday without fail, there is no cause to suggest he or she is an addict.

The nature of their activities cannot even be considered an issue before the activity they are substituting. It's all very well to say 'take up a sport'- but that activity is then just acting as a substitute. Therefore, if you have 10 recreational hours in a day to occupy and you choose the internet as your preferred recreational activity, you are no worse then a dedicated athlete, a social butterfly, or concert pianist who spends their time doing their preferred hobby.There are some who would argue that the previous could be seen as professions rather then that of hobbies, but in retrospect it matters not what you do, only what you should be doing. If you're priority is to work 9.00am - 5.00pm the hours in which you spend away from work are your own and occupying them with internet related activities is by no means a sign of addiction. While using the internet loosing track of time is only too easy to do, as it is with anything you enjoy. The saying 'time flies when you're having fun' best denotes this. However, there have been many instances where suitable bed times are disregarded in favor of 'another 5 minutes online' which soon turns into another hour, and so on and so on until, eventually morning has broken.It is not uncommon to hear of users who spend up to 2 days at a time online with little exercise or sleep.
"Experts" may tell you these people have a serious addiction to the internet. Yet I urge you to consider, if they are still upholding their responsibilities - whatever they may be, the time they have is their own and no business of yours or mine. There’s a fine line between being concerned and interfering.
As someone who uses the internet daily, I mean this not as a hostile retort to the 'findings' of 'experts', but purely as a means of educating them. I am indeed among the simplest of people. Those who offer up their findings regarding the virtual world that is the internet appear to be quite knowledgeable; and while they stray from an opinionated style of writing in favor of an analytical approach, their conclusion seems pre-rendered. To every discussion there are many opinions, and of those opinions neither are right or wrong. They either support a hypothesis or do not.
There are many knowledgeable people in the world, but there are more fools than wise, and just because a man is knowledgable it does not mean he is exempt from being a fool. Wisdom is the proper application of knowledge.

When all is said and done there are no victors in this difference of opinion. Just the chance provided, that those who hear both sides are able to conclude for themselves the whole matter of the thing. That we may all have the freedom of choice which is so rightly ours, and that we may not be discouraged from making those choices.

Mediocre Mecha

2005-01-12T11:12:00.001+11:00

Somehow, some unbelievable way, mecha has gone from anime fetish, to newly instated boss battle in one too many games i've played recently.

In example, the diabolic abomination that was Devil May CRY 2. Warped, mutations of enemy tanks anyone?

Ninja Gaiden, despite being good and testing at times, also had it's own share of mecha.

And to a lesser extent Onimusha 3, Brainstern anyone?
A flying mecha helicopter, with bits of brain smattered across the surface, and two mecha arms extendable via giant hamstrings.

I'm not opposed to experimentation, but the amount of mutant mecha popping up in games lately has caught my eye, and in the case of Devil May Cry 2, i hope it's an idea the creators are soon to do away with.

Obviously the idea of implenting mecha into games isn't new, but it is in the case of the above titles.
Whilst it doesn't ruin all games it does have the potential to if it's not done right, or in the taste and feel of the game it's being introduced to.

When i think Devil May Cry, i conjure up puppets on strings and Edward Scissor-hands offspring. When i think onimusha 3, i think deliciously heanous warped potential - so the addition of mutant mecha didn't come as all that much of a surprise and seemed justifiable in the setting (Didn't you just love reading those recipe books on how to cook humans?).

But my point is, these aren't games that you would normally associate with mecha. When you think Goemon, you may think alot of negative adjectives, but sooner or later mecha will arise. And Metroid, what would it be without mecha?
It's not about judging a game by it's predecessor (if it had one), it's about being true to the taste of your game and pepping up a sequel without redefining what it is you're trying to sell.
Chances are if consumers are going on to buy a sequel it's because they were happy with the first.

As a gamer you have to become accustomed to change, like it or not it is inevitable and so is the fact that you'll have to deal with it. I remember when Nintendo was hailed king of console gaming, now it's spat on my the latest and greatest ignorant generation (for a million different reasons that i won't go into).
People walking around considering themselves bonified gamers because they have a collection of games large enough to errect a house out of, have missed the boat completely.
Any seasoned player knows that there aren't that many games worth playing, let alone owning and whilst PS may use 'bigger selection' as a major selling point there are those that just don't seem to be able to grasp the idea that 'quallity not quantity' should apply.

Obviously this is an issue i'm very passionate about, and while i am opposed to the viewpoint many 'new' gamers have regarding nintendo or any other console that isn't a PS i do believe a consoles worth should be measured by the quallity of it's games first and foremost before technical hoo-har.
Saying that, it's obviously no good purchasing the most fabulous game in the world when your console runs it at a mighty 12fps, thankfully however, we don't have to combat problems like that anymore.

Console wars will be raged as long as there are consoles in existance to pit against each other. And perhaps even after a consoles extinction, there will still be those arguing about the unrealised supremacy of their favorite one (yes that means you diehard dreamcast fans).

For every hundred fans, there always seems to be one who redefines the term 'fanboi' and brings new shame to the disorder.
Anyway, this post was supposed ot be about mecha, not the dysfunctional industry that is console gaming.

If anything, console lovers should be banding together to thwart the views that many-a PC gamer has regarding console play. I must admit most are a matter of opinion, but ever since Metroid Prime i've had to reconsider my own thoughts regarding the quallity of console FPS's.
Of course there is Halo, but anyone with half a brain can see that it's far better played on a PC. As for Prime, well i just don't believe anything - even playing it on PC could improve on it's sheer perfection.

Missing the remote

2005-01-12T01:05:00.000+11:00

Three journal entries in two days. What is happening to me.
I'm still just writing about things that don't interest me though.
If you can't be passionate about what you're writing, you're just writing for the sake of writing.
And while it may make you feel better for a little while, like talking for the sake of talking you soon realise it's a momentary satisfaction that fades upon realisation that the wall doesn't talk back, and if there was anyone listening they're now wondering how much longer they'll be required to feign interest.

That's hardly benefiting anyone.

I can't even confess my own thoughts without feeling some sense of shame.
The shame that perhaps one day i'll wake up and realise i'm just like every other teenager. Over dramatising trivial events, living in a soap opera of self indulgence, plodding the road of self degredation/pity and tripping out on catastrophic events like they're something mighty to behold.

Then again, i could just be describing my sister. In all fairness i find labelling people with stereotypical profiles grotesque and somewhat perturbing. Obviously it's far from correct and certainly improper to scrutinise my age group on the basis of opinion and observation.
As is well drummed into us throughout our pre-school years, 'we are all different, not one person is the same as another' , then enter the long winded speech specifically aimed at targeting potential bullies with little or no regard for their fellow peers.

Everybody says to me, 'Ali, you are so young, you have plenty of time to work out what you want to do with your life'.
But what i'm concerned about, is if i don't spend the 'plenty of time', planning how i'll spend the 'you should have a career by now time', i'll have wasted alot of time, time that not even the tax man himself can reinburse me.

Then again, if i spend that time worrying about what i'm going to do, and if i spend the time worrying about worrying about what i'm going to do. It's equally futile.

Some things can become habitual for us, and instead of sitting down and being clinical we tend to want to exercise our limbs instead of our minds.
Instead of turning the tele on via attached button, we'll spend 10 minutes searching for the remote.
I guess in a way it's how i feel about my life right now.
I know what i want, but i'm going the wrong way about getting it. I'm looking in the fridge, instead of under the couch.
And i'm taking a long time doing it.

I know what i want to achieve in life, and i know what i need to achieve it.

I guess i'm just missing the remote.
They say (that is those foolish enough to believe it) that that's where men come in. But let me let you in on a little secret, not all women need help turning on the tele.

In place of contemplation

2005-01-10T22:43:00.000+11:00

If you don't mind scrolling into the centre of the earth, have a read.

Currently playing: Fe - Dj Vadim and Jeff Buckley's - Grace
Eating: Bangkok pizza
Watching out the corner of my eye: Recorded Tsunami Cricket Match
Multi-tasking:Flash MX - eBay - Blogspot - Chat Clients y!m/AIM/MSN
Shocked by: http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2853&item=5154950279&rd=1

I thought i'd start the week with an entry touching on the things i've been doing, and am doing to pass the time;

What i'm listening to...
Playing...
Anticipating...
Needing...
Reading...
Watching...
Writing...
Wanting...
In that order.

LISTENING
This week i've been whistling away to the swarvy melodica that can only be associated with a Cowboy Bebop soundtrack. Blue lived up to my expectations and the only gripe i could muster was entirely justifiable by the sound tracks title.Afterall one could hardly expect a sound track with the title 'Blue' to create a bright and cheery atmosphere. If i had to pick a favorite from this track it would be the song, flying Teapot. The words seem to loose their effect when translated into English but the music is just the thing to take in while you're busy multi-tasking into the early hours of the morning.

Flying TeapotVocals: Emily Bindiger
Piano: Mark Soskin
Trumpet: Steven Berstein

The booklet that accompanied the CD Blue, was well presented with some great artwork. Words to songs and detailed information regarding who sang and played what were among the content as you'd expect.
I would also reccomend Cowboy Bebop - Music for Freelance. This CD takes a unique approach to presenting music from the film by introducing each track in Radio Station format. Complete with a station DJ, who introduces each track along with snippets of dialogue to keep you in the Bebop atmosphere. Little commentries on weather, namely meteor showers give you the impression this was aimed at bounty hunters on the road. All tracks on the CD are remixes of original pieces but enjoyable nonetheless. As a prospective buyer, keep in mind due to the unique radio station presentation of this CD it is presented as a continual flow, with 'Radio Free Mars' talk acting as interludes between the 8 songs (Yes, that's right there are only 8 songs but time is more then accounted for by the partially comical and sometimes confusing commentry). This is a must have CD for Bebop enthusiasts and comes relatively cheap at online Australian anime stores such as http://www.tamarket.com.au/ and for Americans well, you're lucky enough to have a plethora of suppliers to meet your demands and if you haven't worked out where to source your stuff from by now you don't deserve any. (Yes i'm bitter)

PLAYING
Onimusha 3 - PS2
This week i've finally parted with the funds to purchase Onimusha 3. If you've played the two previous installments in the series and enjoyed them you'd be quite foolish not to purchase the 3rd. Given that i've bought this game so late in the peace i won't bother with a run down of it or a half hearted review - you know where to go for the information. I'll just simply say, there's plenty of Onimusha goodness to behold, and if like me you were concerned about the time travel aspect of the game ruining it's appeal, have no fear.

Digger T-Rock and Faxanadu - NES
Veterans will recall these two titles which despite having had their day are not beyond enjoying, especially if you have that nostalgic attachment still lingering. Unlike most games i've attempted to rediscover since my childhood, very few retain their magic and appeal as well as these.

L.O.D - Legend of Dragoon - PSO
A game that is hailed as being as rare as Secret of Mana on SNES and Lufia (also on SNES) is indeed hard to get a hold of. As to the validity of the previous statement i'm not sure, but i do know that if you do chance upon it in a retail store such as Game Traders it will be under lock and key.I purchased this game a number of years ago after begging relentlessly for a rental shop owner to sell it to me and self degredation aside it was certainly worth it. Despite not having recieved much coverage or favoring reviews this has to be one of my all time favorite games. If this game had to have a fault it would be the amount of school days i sacrificed to spend time indulging in what i now recognise as an anything but common game.If you're after a copy, Game Traders, located in the Geelong CBD have one out the back and a whole lot of eye lash flittering might get you a peek. (They also have Lufia and another really rare SNES rpg, so rare i can't even call it's name to remembrance...Terra...something?).

Tracy Chapmen - Fast Car - Tabs
After a long period of seperation my guitar and i are getting back together in light of a new found agreement. I've been banished to the outer of the house so as to not disrupt the peace, and am now free to play into the wee hours of the morn. I'm not exactly sure why the disgruntled anti-music lovers i take residence with were opposed to my playing in the first place, especially given they're only around for a few days of the week, but regardless i did the good thing and acommodated their wishes. Aside from that i needed time off. The reason for which stemmed from the feeling that i was digressing rather then progressing. I'm trying some new genres in light of this fact and plan to concentrate more on textured strumming.

ANTICIPATING
Shigeru Miyamoto's upcoming Zelda release. - GC
I have lusted after this title for what seems like an eternity and the only thing that comes close to relieving my game related urges is replaying OoT.That said, it's certainly something i have to keep under control given that my female aquaintances have zero appreciation for the goodness that is gaming, and it does nothing to improve my social life. I saw the trailor and behold, it was good.After the dissapointment i felt after playing Majoras Mask and Wind Waker, this will be a gem to behold. Some may think i run the risk of building it up but i've never been in danger of being betrayed by my own hype due to a predominantly cynical nature.Link my un-cel shaded love, we shall soon be reunited.

KotOR 2- Knights of the Old Republic - x-box
After the first juicy installment of this Star Wars inspired game, it's an unappreciative gamer that doesn't look forward to the sequel. Not to be confused with other Star Wars inspired flops, KotOR is a very good thing indeed.Despite the change of hands there's very little that could be done to ruin this game for me.

NEEDING

GTO - Great teacher Onizuka
This series has long been on my 'to buy' list. If you had to meticulously read through every concieved anime plot you would arrive at the conclusion that they're all incredibly lame, and their producers soley reliant on drugs for inspiration. And that's without touching on the hentai genre which includes atrocities such as tentacle rape and child pr0n.But after viewing a few decent titles you soon realise the magic behind Japanese anime and it's characters. IMO the greatest of anime become apparent when you forget you're actually watching an anime.There's certainly an indescribable factor that makes anime and it's often annoying characters all too alluring. It's easy to dismiss anime on the basis of one or two bad titles, but how many bad films have you watched? And how many more did you go on to see after that? If you're interested in getting into anime consult someone with the same interests as you, as to what you should watch. Personally i would reccomend starting off with any of Hayao Miyazakis works. If you see one or two and fall in love with them you should certainly purchase the studio ghibli box set which will save you time and money, rather then purchasing titles individually (most of which are hard to find) . If you're after a series i would suggest Cowboy Bebop. Cowboy Bebop is a brilliant concoction with a wonderful musical score, and whilst doused with humour still manages to maintain it's serious tone. Most of Hayao's works are suitable for childrens viewing but i wouldn't reccomend Bebop for younger children. Certainly 13+ , and if you're overly concerned about the influence that viewing violence has on children, you'd probably consider it 15+.

Metroid Prime 2 - Echoes
While alot of people i have spoken to consider Metroid 'boring', die hard fans will easily be able to justify slapping them in the face. The first installment of Metroid Prime on GC was beautiful. The way Samus moved, and interacted with the environment, the sheer smoothness and flow were simply divine. Even the GBA version Fusion seemed to flow abnormally well.I always associate a clinical feel to the metroid series, which was certainly maintained in the GBA version Fusion, but Prime brought with it something new. The well constructed environments were as masterfully constructed and equally breathtaking as scenes from ICO. There were moments when the game moved slowly and time came to a stand still, but it seemed more of a blessing then a hinderance, giving the player an opportunity to take in the surroundings which are so frequently overlooked by younger gamers who take them for granted. All in all i can't say too much about Echoes as i haven't read a single review (i don't generally pay much attention to people's opinions when i don't know their tastes) and obviously i haven't had a chance to play it. But that's the great thing about Metroid, it's one of those games that you don't have to bother researching, you just know without a doubt, it's going to be good.

Legend of Legaia - PSO
This isn't a game that many people regard as anything special, and it's not surprising given it's Legend of goemon looks. Considered by a handful of uneducated people to have been made famous by it's sequel, Legaia was a vital stepping stone which played an integral part in the development of my love for the RPG genre. Less linear then FF RPG's surfacing at the time, and featuring a stash of entertaining mini games which although appeared late in the epic journey, seemed just in time. Legaia is certainly packed away in my archive of pleasant memories and for that reason it gains a much wanted place in my collection.

Aiden Chronicles - N64
Anyone who played this game through to the end, or at least for a while would most likely cringe at the very mentioning of this title. Epic monotony would have been a more apt description for the near life long saga, and despite the lack of appeal this game had (especially after you started playing it) there was somehting inside me that said 'press on'.And press on i did, until the very end when i was on my way to get my name from the dragon. Unfortunately, my generic memory card that my budget conscience mother had procured refused to load the game when i returned to take up the quest once again. It was a moment of gaming heart ache that has since been equalled by no other. Not even the time when my elder sister deleted a 92 hour Wind Waker file, nor the time i was savagely disgraced when a mere rat mauled me to death in Morrowind, due to lack of fatigue (I still feel the need to justify such an unjustifiable death with 'lack of fatigue' or 'i was low on health'). Since that day i have mustered the attention span to sit through the ordeal that is completing Aiden Chronicles. The only RPG i've ever played that actually kills off a character when they die in battle. There's no phoenix down in this happy story. Instead you're able to pick up additional characters along the way, stopping over in towns to recruit in place of those who've fallen by the wayside.Although i tremble at the prospect of entering the wizards deadly, maze of mazes tower, it's a trial i have to face in order to erradicate the burden that has lingered in the back of my mind for too long.

READING
http://www.bigkid.com.au/
I'm not big on Australian sites, but bigkid seems to be a genuine one. They also appear to enjoy what they're doing, which is great for the money they're being paid (Which is nothing). I'm not saying they shouldn't enjoy running a site if they're not recieving payment but i do think it's great that they persue their hobby without monetary incentive.Updates aren't regular and you get the feeling that these people have more important things to do yet they kindly extend information and advice to anyone interested in persuing a career in gaming. Perhaps they cringe at the idea of a teenager assessing their hard work and achievments but i think sometimes it's nice to know what others think regardless of opinion.

WATCHING

The legend of Gingko - Korean film - 2000
Synopsis: Set in an unidentified ancient time and place, the film features antagonism between two tribes, the Volcanoes and the evil Hawks, in a world ruled by the Mountain God, patron of the Volcanoes. Soo, matriarch of the Hawks, plots to have a baby fathered by Han, who is a member of the Volcanoes' royal family, and to sacrifice it in order to consecrate the Heavenly Sword, with which she intends to enfeeble the Mountain God. But the baby, Vee, is rescued by her father and raised as a member of the Volcanoes. Directed by Park Je-Hyun and starring Kim Suk-Hoon and Sol Kyung-Koo. (From Korea, English subtitles) M (A, V) (2000) WS
There is so much that has been said about this movie and so little of it is good. But all technicalities aside, i love this film and despite the fact that it's as rare as hens teeth (yes that makes it rarer then a Pal copy of Skies of Arcadia) it's worth getting. I don't have cable telelvision so i'm not aware whether a foriegn films channel would or has ever aired this wonderful movie but if by chance you do catch it on Austar or SBS it's worth the late night. Unlike channels 7, 9 and 10, things aired after 10.00pm aren't given that slot because of their immoral content or lack of quallity, so don't be apprehensive and make it a date.You'll be wonderfully surprised by the powerful emotions this film both evokes and exhibits and the lack of quallity props (plastic swords and such) aren't even an issue and weren't apparent to me until i read into the film after watching it.

WRITING
My writing has taken a back seat to everything else lately. I haven't written anything at all. Aside from the odd journal entry here and there. I've cut my losses and now i'll just compile all my thoughts, reviews, and misc topics into one journal. This may make for awkward reading, and i've still some work to do on the margins, which i had hoped would deter me from writing long entries, but much to my dismay i just can't seem to be able to help myself. Ranting is something that just comes so naturally. Unlike previous journals, few people have this address and in a way i'm trying to segregate myself from previous online communities, save for an elect few people. Elect, almost sounds biblical.
I welcome the newness of life.

WANTING
I'm, wanting, to stop wanting. Sometimes we can be driven by consumerism, even without exposure to un-clever marketing. If it's not materialistic wealth we seek, it's wealth of a different kind. Those with more wealth preying on those who want wealth. It seems to be the modern day circle of life. Being content with what you have may be harder than spending your life striving for what you don't.
Possibly conjecture, but i'm not trying it in order to support a hypothesis.

It's all about Rio

2004-11-19T23:23:00.000+11:00

After much provoking, i have come to the conclusion that the general public is incredibly uneducated when it comes to knowing which mass mp3 player to purchase.
Therefor i embarked on the arduous costly task of inspecting the numerous options on the market and reserved my thorough investigation to an elite short listing consisting of three names.

1. Rio Karma
2. Creative Zen
3. Apple i-pod

This over view is written for people who have already done their homework, i will be touching on the negative aspects of the players.
If you're considering buying an mp3 player, and you've decided mass is for you, then make sure you check out the options. While i maintain there is no such thing as the perfect mp3 player, you need to check them all out and find the one that is perfect for you. Each of these 3 names has something to offer but is that something, the something you're looking for? And perhaps most importantly, is it enough to compensate for the features it doesn't have?
Without further delay, here are the pro's and the con's of all the top guns.

Product name: Apple i-pod
Size: Available in 4, 20, 40 and 80 Gig. Previously available in 10, 15 and 30.

Ok, so we see the highly publicised i-pod around just about every corner. It's on bill boards, hanging out celebrities pockets, prizes in umteen different competitions. But does that make it the best?
Allow me to shed some light on the rather bleak and dreary cons;

*Lets talk battery -

First problems first, when this battery has been recharged to the brink of depletion. You need to crack the back off the i-pod, (coincidently voiding the warranty) and fork out a rather outrageous sum of money for a new one; or altervatively, you can ship it back to apple for the low affordable price of $99.00, and get it back safe and sound and reformatted! Nice one Mac.

Secondly, if you're planning on taking the i-pod on a nice long car trip, say 3 hours or so, you're going to have to ration your use. Excessive menu use depletes the battery faster then if you were to not touch the i-pod at all. Consider playing games, constantly skipping songs you don't feel like listening to and scrolling through song lists, luxuries.

Third, if you're a stickler for accurate battery readings then you'll find this next piece of information a little perturbing. Fully charged it is not uncommon for your i-pod to read 3 1/4 's full, and many users, myself inclusive have reported that their i-pod indicated they had no battery yet it continued to operate for a long period of time following this.Call this pedantic, but think about how much you pay for the product, and on a larger scale, if they cannot perfect a minor detail such as this how do they cope with the more important aspects of the pod?

*Lets talk sound!

First - This is somewhat of a taboo subject, especially if you're making enquiries to Apple. Defects with the i-pod have been reported as early as 3rd generation. The sound of the pod HD whirring in amongst the clatter of your favorite tune might not be all that big of a deal to some, but to me it's quite an issue. This was a problem that was connected soley to 4th generation pods, but since the defect has gained more and more recognition there seem to be plenty of people coming out of the wood work with similar claims. ipodlounge.com raised the controversial issue on their site and were inundated with people willing to back it up. Despite numerous attempts to coax an explanation out of Apple the big shot decided to take a back seat on the issue and continue to let image sell their growing fad.
Never fear, if you've purchased an i-pod that is defective, take comfort in knowing numerous people have recieved refunds. If you don't see the defect as all that big of an issue, then stick to using apple buds/head phones only - as you'll find the problem is more prevalent when using foreign h/phones.

Second - Are you a stickler for good, nay great quallity audio? Want the best? Then the i-pod isn't for you. The i-pods sound quallity isn't considered lacking because it's in the shadow of other mp3 players when it comes to stepping up to the bar. It's sincerely very poor.

Lets talk over priced accesories!

First - www.ebay.com - www.apple.com - www.amazon.com

Don't take my word for it, check out the retail prices. From remotes, voice recorders, skins, speakers, to docks, to in-car holders and FM transmitters, there's not an accessory that hasn't been made for the pod. However, if you struggled to find the cash to purchase one, you'll be struggling to purchase anything to accompany it. Enough said.

Lets talk preservation!

First - I challenge anyone to preserve and use an i-pod effectively without the use of a case. Not only can you see your own reflection on the reverse, without a case you'll be seeing a myriad of scratches and other marks along with it. The pod face is also highly suceptible to scratches and marks so you have to be incredibly careful. Treat it like a baby because it's just as vunerable.
Why is this an issue? Not only does it look bad, it reduces the resale value and generally gives the impression to others that you don't look after your things. Of course the only person aware of how fragile the exterior is, would be someone who already owns an i-pod; so you're not likely to find any understanding buyers.

Lets talk speed!
A stick of 1024 and my well tuned pc is gurgling at a reasonable speed. But can the pod take the pressure of rapid song change? The simple answer to this queston, is no.
You'll find it lags, there are noteable pauses inbetween each selection and it's not nearly as speedy as you'd expect. Zen and Rio might be spoiling consumers, but when you've had something faster it's hard to go back. I also experienced numerous times where the i-pod would freeze and i was unable to turn it off or gain any response from it until the battery was depleted and recharged.

After all that drab and dreary jargan lets talk Pro's in short!

***Incredibly attractive exterior.
***Easy to use interface.
***Excellent availabillity.
***Capable of winning mighty shallow friends.
***Features 4 games.

Reallity check !

Are the cons surrounding this product enough to convince it's worth your hard earnt cash?

Are you willing to fork out for an in car charger to combat the rapid depletion of the battery?

Are you willing to fork out for an extra attachable power supply that sustains your pod when the internal battery is depleted?

Are you willing to pay money for a case that you NEED to preserve your i-pods exterior?

Are you prepared to put up with a laggy pod that sometimes freezes?

Is sound quallity a big issue to you?

OR is the image of the i-pod enough to get you shedding money like leaves from a tree in autumn?

If sound quallity is not a big issue, and you consider looks far more important, then perhaps an i-pod is for you. I would reccomend the i-pod for those taking that early train to work every morning (the battery should be capable of getting you there and back, provided you're not going more then 2 hours each way), those who want to get on the i-pod bus and flesh out that stereotypical image, and on the opposite side of the coin, those who don't care about the pros and cons and just want a player that plays. If you're serious about music, the i-pod is not for you - if you're serious about image, it certainly has the look.

********************************************

Zen and Rio reviews soon to be added

Doskathon@yahoo.com

Um, crikey it's the 20th of December 2004 - it looks like the Zen and Rio reviews are a few weeks away yet, however i should probably mention for those who aren't aware; if you're after a Zen - go Jukebox, Nomad or Micro. The Zen touch's are being reported left right and centre as faulty. The touch pads are malfunctioning, and apparently 1 in every 50 is defective. If you take the risk, keep your reciept. Personally i'd choose a Zen Micro. I'll touch on the finer aspects of the condition/s at a later date, but for now it's time to holiday without a mass Mp3 player, thanks to the likes of faulty i-pods and Zens. Rio Karma sure has it in the bag, now all they have to do is sell to Australians.

Sexual misconduct of the new millenium

2004-11-02T01:03:00.000+11:00

Now for the first official installment, in what shall be yet another controversial online journal. My genius at the helm of the thing, my wit fuelling it's every motion; and at the heart of the beast, the very core, a plethora of virgin enigmas awaiting unveiling.

Why has prostitution not been legalised everywhere?

What with all our sex-washing and flesh baring, rapidly declining sanctity of sexual organs. The act of sex between strangers is not only looked upon favorably but looked upon as a recreational activity as common place as inviting someone in for coffee. Would we be at all surprised to chance upon a department store bearing the 10 meter wide, flashing title of sex-mart?
Where fathers and family members alike can purchase vouchers in denominations of 5-10-and-20 minutes. "Can't decide which prostitute to pick? Choose a voucher, they'll keep you coming back for more".
What's perhaps so utterly perturbing about this, if not all of it, is that this conjecture is not inconcievable.

Has our sterile western society suddenly decided to uphold the morals it has so unashamedly spat upon throughout the duration of man kinds existence?
I think not.
As horrid and grotesque as the truth often is. I think you'll find it's something more along the lines of people resenting the fact they have to pay for sex and/or other bodily pleasures they can no otherwise procure.

Meanwhile there are still hordes of women who are willing to exploit their looks and various other bodily features to earn some quick cash, and then there are those who actually enjoy it. On the other side of the coin, there are the men with no objection to taking advantage of these services.

I'm not concerned about the deeds of these wayward people. What i am interested in, is the effect the normalisation of sexual misconduct has had on our society. The increasing hostillity females are met with on the social and professional scene because they are percieved as little more then objects of desire.
Now i'm no philanthropist, and i am immune to stories of this nature. But every now and then i am met with a tale that evokes mighty indignation.
An 18 year old girl told of how a young male pushed her on the ground and inserted his penis into her mouth, while at a party. Despite her attempts to spit it out and move away he insisted on replacing it. - it is not the act that is most perturbing. But the lack of respect this young male had for a girl, an equal citizen, that he could defame her in such a way without condemnation or second thought. Vilification of this kind is not uncommon.
Rape is up. Sexual predators are lurking almost everywhere. But once where events of this nature were considered grotesque and punishable by law, there stands no punishment nor consequence.
-And once where this was deemed a scarce occurance it is now common place.

We all stop to stare at the television when we hear the rape of anyone over the age of 50 being televised. But do we stop in disbelief of a criminals lack of respect for the elderly, or do we stop in disbelief because we cannot believe anyone would rape a wrinkly old maddam when there are finer fish to fry?

It's a sick, sick world. There are times when i call to rememberance the values of old. Once upheld by the majority. No sex before marriage. No outrageous public displays of affection. Where people held dear their private 'areas', deeming even the thought of unfaithfulness inconcievable.
While i've touched on the two extremes either side of the morallity coin. I think you'll agree the norm is more then leaning toward one side then the other.
How long until your children indulge in the act? 11, 12, 13?
What you may not be aware of is that they're probably doing it right now. I'm no troubled aspiring journalist hoping to tell the world something new and inform ignorant parents. I'm a teenager, with teenage friends, and not that long ago i was 13 too.
When my friends came around we played video games and ate junk food. When my friends came around we jumped on the trampoline. When my friends came around we watched cartoons.

And one day in the distant future, when my childrens friends come to visit. I hope they'll do the same.